Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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