shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
