Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
