Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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