I just made out with a guy for $7.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
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Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
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You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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