Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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