I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
