i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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