Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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