Do you still have your period?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
