Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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