I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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