You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
