my mouth tastes like poor choices
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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