she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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