i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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