The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize