I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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