Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Can I color on your dick again?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
