i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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