How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
