i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
