if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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