Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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