Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
