Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
