girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
