I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize