We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
