What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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