this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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