You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
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