Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
