I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
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