she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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