I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize