...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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