Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
