He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
