Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
