they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
