i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
