i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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