I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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