I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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