Buhtt sex?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
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Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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