I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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