Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
