why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize