The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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