I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize