I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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