i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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