question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
