so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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