I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
