non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
