what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize