i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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