Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everclear isn't food dammit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
