So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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