I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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