sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
